A response to marketing SPAM…

Do you get unsolicited and unwanted canned emails touting how they can “help” your business? If so, here is a response I borrowed from fellow engineer and long time direct marketing consultant/copywriter Bob Bly.

Most of the time I simply delete the offending emails, but when Bob mentioned this in one of his email newsletters, I decided to have some fun.

Here is the response I sent back for the next unwanted email:

Borrowed from highly successful direct marketer Bob Bly:

I don’t recognize your name.

I don’t know who you are.

I don’t have any evidence that you can help me.

I don’t know who your clients are.

I don’t know what results you have gotten for them.

I have no evidence that you are different or better than all the other firms sending me emails like yours every day of the week.

You don’t know anything about me, our business, our goals, our priorities, our needs, and our most pressing challenges.

Now… what was it you wanted to sell me?

Full disclosure: I “stole” … er, I mean adapted this copy … from a famous and successful ad McGraw-Hill ran many years ago.

PS – If you want professional direct marketing help, I suggest you contact Bob at www.Bly.com. But be prepared to buy his services, not sell yours.

I plan to continue. Is this unkind? Probably, but if it results in even one change, it is worth it.

BTW, do NOT send out unsolicited emails for your marketing. Rather, spend your time and money to understand both your target market and your offer, and then craft a focused approach. Use a rifle, not a shotgun!

And if you are a marketing consultant, do NOT suggest this to your clients. In a future post I’ll share my story of the “Put a Dollar in Every Direct Mail” fiasco from years ago. Not my idea, but forced upon me by a boss who was swayed by a local advertising firm. Don’t.Be.Stupid!

P.S. Here is another email option from this grumpy old engineering consultant 🙂